In this short video, British mediator Aled Davis helps us assess whether that difficult conversation is worth having or whether we should “let sleeping dogs lie”.
He suggests three screens to think about when trying to decide if we should let it go or courageously risk that difficult conversation:
1. Pay attention to your emotional reactions.
2. Consider what is at stake and what you have to gain.
3. Assess the potential consequences.
So, you’ve decided to go for it?
In their foundational book, Difficult Conversations: How to discuss what matters most, Stone, Patton and Heen outline several tools that can be helpful when navigating those difficult conversations:
- Make it safe to talk
- Adopt a “Yes, and…” stance
- Learn to recognize your stories
- Separate impact from intent
- Use “I messages”
- Focus on contribution, not blame
This short book summary, put together by Ohio State University, is a helpful resource that includes a guide to help you think through your difficult conversation.