By David Falk, MA
Have you ever considered that the trust others have in you can fluctuate like investments on the stock market? Or that, like an investor, it is wise to work at managing your portfolio of trust, ensuring that you have a good mix of investments that can improve the resiliency and long-term performance of your portfolio? Allow me to explain.
Dr. Honggang Yang, my grad studies professor, studied the nature of trust at a very deep level. Fortunately, he was able to translate the complexities of trust into a simple sound byte for his students. Dr. Yang shared with us that human trust was based on “3 C’s”: care, competence and commitment.
Think of these 3 C’s as three investments/stocks in your trust portfolio. In personal relationships, the primary trust stocks that we draw upon are care and commitment. I trust my family and friends because they have demonstrated care and because I know I can reach out to them at any time and expect a response. In the professional world, care is nice but they also need to demonstrate competence and commitment or we will take our business elsewhere. Your dentist may be very friendly and kind, but you will not trust them if she doesn’t show up for your appointment or she pulls out the wrong tooth.
When it comes to relationships in the workplace, we draw on all three of these stocks. In our work, we need to demonstrate competence with our tasks, care in our relationships and commitment to our project, team and organization.
As a mediator, I have often encountered individuals who know that their trust stocks are sliding, however their attempts to recover the loss have been ineffective because they invested in the wrong stock. A couple of examples:
Susan, a technical expert is seen by her colleagues to be extremely knowledgeable (competent) however she tends to communicate in ways that are experienced as harsh, condescending and accusatory. This causes staff to distrust her and not access her knowledge and expertise. Sensing that staff do not trust her, Susan works even harder to be seen as knowledgeable and competent which, due to her lack of care, serves only to further erode trust in her. What Susan needs to do is to listen, acknowledge the impact of her past interactions, and work to improve her ability to communicate in ways that are more respectful (caring).
Almost everyone loves Garry. He is a social and funny guy who genuinely connects with others in the team. However, staff started to lose trust in Garry when he messed up the Excel formulas on a shared document. Garry, knowing that trust has taken a hit, brings a box of apology muffins to work with an amusing card. This is a great act of acknowledgment and care if Garry also works to ensure that is able to competently work in Excel. If Garry continues to make similar mistakes, his apology muffins will not be well received. In fact, as his colleagues grow tired of Garry’s socializing and just want him to learn how to do his job, they may want to do things with his muffins that violate the respectful workplace policy.
To build trust, seek to demonstrate care, competence and commitment at work. Look for opportunities where you can affirm and provide positive feedback to others when they invest in these three stocks. And, if you currently need to rebuild trust with others, assess which of the 3 C’s has taken the hit, then invest strategically in the depleted stock.