With the year wrapping up and the holiday season well nigh, I have found myself falling prey to getting caught up in the “busy”. I know better too! Worrying about “all the things that need to be done” is a trap I set for myself and takes away from enjoying the time spent in the moment. Focusing on productivity isn’t about getting more stuff done, it’s about living with less stress and spending more time on things which really count, like relationships and experiences.
With all the wrap up responsibilities at work, the desire to create and recreate family traditions, and the mixture of social events that are both work and family related, well, it can be pretty demanding. And it means that those interpersonal skills I have been developing are going to be put to use!
Here are some actions that I would like to share with you that I have found to be helpful. And just a quick comment: these continue to be a work in progress for me. As a good reminder of what can help relationships develop more deeply, here are
10 things we can do to contribute to internal, interpersonal, and organizational peace:
1. Spend time each day quietly reflecting on how we would like to relate to ourselves and others.
2. Remember that all human beings have the same needs.
3. Check our intention to see if we are as interested in others getting their needs met as our own.
4. When asking someone to do something, check first to see if we are making a request or a demand.
5. Instead of saying what we DON’T want someone to do, say what we DO want the person to do.
6. Instead of saying what we want someone to BE, say what action we’d like the person to take that we hope will help the person be that way.
7. Before agreeing or disagreeing with anyone’s opinions, try to tune in to what the person is feeling and needing.
8. Instead of saying “No”, say what need of ours prevents us from saying “Yes”.
9. If we are feeling upset, think about what need of ours is not being met, and what we could do to meet it, instead of thinking about what’s wrong with others or ourselves.
10. Instead of praising someone who did something we like, express our gratitude by telling the person what needs of ours that action met.
From all of us at Facilitated Solutions, we would like to express our appreciation for the trust you have placed in us. We wish you a very Happy Holiday season and a peaceful and prosperous New Year.